4 reasons why I still want to get married

This post is part of the Intimacy with God series

Over the course of the last year, I thought about what I wanted and why I still want to get married. This is an important prayer and conversation to have with God in your intimate or close, private time with the Father because marriage is important to God and you are important to God.

Have you really thought about the answers if you were asked this question before? Here are my personal reasons for still wanting to be married.

*I believe God gave me the desire for marriage

This reason was the most recent one that came to mind in this season. It’s so simple that God giving us the desire for marriage (or not) is a good enough reason to want to get married, in spite of a pandemic and other factors. The true living God that we get to know in this walk is sovereign and all-knowing. His plans for us are good and to bring us hope for the future.

His plans include sanctifying us in unique ways that may include relationships like marriage and parenthood. So with this desire for marriage in me, my willingness to allow God to process me for that stage of life is necessary for what’s on the other side of that. It’s not just romance and fun, it’s growth, work, and ministry.

“Sometimes I wish everyone were single like me—a simpler life in many ways! But celibacy is not for everyone any more than marriage is. God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.” 1 Corinthians 7:7 MSG

*I want to establish new godly cycles and legacies in my family bloodline

Part of breaking the cycle of family dysfunction involves you creating a family of your own to pass down wisdom, inheritance, and create new cycles. In all that I’ve experienced in my family lines, I think it’s important to be aware of what we have gone through, what the struggles or demons are in the family, and seek the Lord on the solutions to create a new pattern and legacy that glorifies Him instead of trauma.

You too may be the first in your family to try something different and if that means getting married as part of that plan, allow God to partner you with the right person to fulfill that assignment for your lives. I consider marriage bigger than my view of what it will be–the opportunity to invest in the lives around me.

“Praise the Lord! How joyful are those who fear the Lord and delight in obeying his commands. Their children will be successful everywhere; an entire generation of godly people will be blessed. They themselves will be wealthy, and their good deeds will last forever.” Psalm 112:-1-3 NLT

*I want a companion to do life with and support each other’s dreams

For some years now I’ve become an independent woman of sorts, but I’ve grown more aware that I have helpmeet qualities. I definitely see myself supporting my partner’s dreams and him reciprocating for mine. I desire an interdependent marriage, not codependent or some other form of struggle love. I want what God wants for my marriage: growth in who God created us to be in this life walk of sanctification. Some of that growth will come through the trials and triumphs of marriage, parenthood, etc.

I’ll bring this up in a later blog post, but there were some moments and activities I was fortunate enough to experience with my family and friends as a single person, and there are some I feel that will be best experienced with my husband. To do life with a companion is nice and should be considered after you’ve had at least a season of living on your own in some capacity. Having someone in the house with you can bring you company, but not necessarily happiness, so be sure to master that for yourself before joining your life with someone else.

*I want to honor God with my body and express my human desires for physical intimacy with my husband, not just anyone

Umm, these hormones did not go away, folks (lol). If anything, I’ve become more aware of my bodily changes and desires after age 30. I think it’s important for women especially to learn about their bodies and health whether they desire to birth children or not. I desire to be intimately connected with my husband, not just some random fling.

The older I get, the more people suggest that men wouldn’t want to honor waiting before marriage, but men didn’t want to honor waiting in our twenties either, so what else you got? You’d be surprised how many people (men and women) are either virgins or recommitted to waiting to have sex before marriage. Don’t let what other people say dictate your God-led personal convictions about saving sexual intimacy for your future spouse.

If you’ve been waiting for some time and not seeing marriage in the near future for yourself, don’t settle for temporary comforts of the flesh. It’s all too easy to take the enemy’s bait and end up in a worse state than you were before. Keep pressing through and even if you make a mistake, repent and get back on track. God formed us and our sexual desires–take no shame in that. I still advocate that wisdom and responsibility are important to factor into these decisions so that you can freely enjoy sexual intimacy within marital covenant–what it was made for.

“Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality—the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:2-3 MSG

For these reasons, I believe that marriage is for me and is worth the process and wait to get to that point. There are moments when I long for my earthly husband, but until then I shift my focus to God and get in alignment with His will. I haven’t always done that, so this season of focus is important for any of us who desire to see the Father’s promises for our lives come to pass.

If marriage is something that you look forward to for yourself, consider your own reasons why you still want to get married. Feel free to share in the comments below!