6 signs to tell that you’re dating out of lack

This post is part of The Other Side Series

Have you ever asked God about your relationship status or why you’re currently single, not dating or courting, and you get an answer you’ve never considered before? This happened to me. I got a pretty clear reminder of a hindrance in my life.

I was at my computer at work, listening to an inspirational message about being in a relationship with the right man for you, and I wondered in my heart about that. Then I heard shortly after that in my spirit: “you’ve been dating out of lack.” My eyes widened and I couldn’t shake the depth of the message I just heard. It was God’s word to me and perhaps to you, hence this blog post.

Let me just say that the Holy Spirit loves to keep it 100 with me, and that statement was just about as real as it could get. I was not dating at the level I desired because I was coming at it the wrong way. I was operating out of lack, meaning not enough, in a state of poverty and desperation. I wanted more clarity on this message, and sure enough, not long after I heard from God I heard the same wording from the speaker in the video*. So there was no room for confusion about this–God wanted me to snap out of it and right away!

When God gives you a word He will confirm it, we just have to listen. 

I’ll share what dating out of lack looked like for me in these signs:

• Dating or entertaining men I sensed were not willing to commit or were emotionally unavailable
• Not going on any real dates, but staying in non-progressive talking stages
• Thinking I wasn’t “good enough” to date at my desired level because of my circumstances (examples: past failures, financial debt, experience, family, income, etc.)
• Self sabotaging behavior with choosing men that went against what I wanted
• Attracting men based on my current mindset and season in life, not based on where I want to be and will be by faith
• I didn’t believe I could really get the best for me, God’s best for me

This is no shot to any guy I’ve dated; this is more about myself and what I believe in God to provide for me. When we take responsibility for the choices we have made, then we can make better steps towards experiencing healing, growth and the results we truly desire. I believe that God keeps it real with us because He wants to see us win, to see us prosper and give us that hope and future that we read about. But if our minds aren’t made up about what we want and if we don’t believe that we can have what we want through God, then we’re going to settle for less every time by our own strength.

What we will want as mature believers in Christ is what God wants for us, not what our logic wants or biological clock, or selfish ways that don’t consult the Father.

As much as I was blown away by the rapid, rhema word for my life that was confirmed, I felt loved in that moment by the Father more than what the enemy would otherwise suggest. God brings these things to our attention because He loves us, each and every one.

So despite what we’ve been though or haven’t seen enough of, it’s imperative that we don’t let go of God’s word and personal promises He makes for us. Let’s not be wearing in well doing, and definitely don’t settle for less.

*I was watching the Ashley Empowers “Finding Mr. Right” Masterclass video

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2‭-‬4 NKJV

Have you experienced any of those signs of dating out of lack? Share in the comments below!