What Black Love Doc creators said to a single woman who wants to give up on Black men

The hit documentary series Black Love made a season 2 media tour stop in Chicago last month and I was able to attend the discussion with show runners Codie & Tommy Oliver plus one of the married couples they interviewed.

During the event we got some discussion on the realities of marriage and the Olivers’ love story as well as Taj and Eddie George, who have been together over 20 years and married over 13 years. During the Q&A session, one woman in the back of the theater at the DuSable Museum shared her concerns about dating prospects in Chicago (girrrrrl). At 34 years old she’s successful and satisfied in her career, but desires to marry.

Though she preferred Black men as prospective spouses, she was just about ready to give up loving Black men altogether. The room was shook! How do you say something like that at a discussion about Black Love?

Well, that’s how some of us single ladies feel.

We see the Black men in media and other industries that are either unavailable, not on our “level,” or happen to be in relationships or married to women who aren’t Black. I can understand for someone at a certain age like 34 to wonder about when they are going to get married, and look around their current environment and not be able to see hope in the option to marry someone who looks like them.

Back to the Q&A, the Olivers, one of the series producers, and the Georges responded to the sistah in love and it stirred us all not to give up on love. Listen to the responses below:

Here are some quotables and tweetable content for you to share:

“You gotta make the time. Some people don’t make it a priority. It’s not like TV, Film or social media with this perfect story, sometimes it requires risking embarrassment like my wife did. We would all not be here if my wife didn’t hit on me.” -Tommy Oliver

“Sometimes if you’re a nice guy it makes it difficult to say hello to women…”

“What in life is easy? If you’re pursuing any goal not matter what it may be it’s not going to be easy. When you say you wanna cut off Black men, you’re cutting off all of the possibilities of what we could be. You gotta keep yourself open to this. You must persist without exception.” -Eddie George

“Please don’t give up because somebody is out there looking for you.”

Note that these quotes are from the men in response to the young woman. I pray that she and others who felt the same way as her were encouraged to not give up on what they want, but also to be open to getting out of their comfort zone, whatever that looks like for that individual. This includes shooting your shot, which is how Codie and Tommy met years ago. Now that they’re married, he reflected that this wouldn’t be the case had Codie not stepped out of her comfort zone and initiated conversation with him first. Everyone’s story is different, and that’s what makes shows like Black Love interesting to watch.

If you listen to the whole clip, you’ll get to hear me ask the group what are the benefits of marriage. I had a great time and I’m looking forward to watching season 2 of #BlackLoveDoc, which premieres on Saturday, May 12th on OWN! Will you be tuning in?

 How would you respond to the woman who is close to giving up on Black men to date/marry? Share in the comments below!