This is the last installment in this short story series. Catch up with Part 4 here.
Marta was calling, but decided against answering the phone. Instead, Vicki thanked her mother for checking in on her as they said their goodbyes. Vicki closed the door with freedom and relief in her spirit.
No longer did she feel the need to try and meet her mother’s expectations. No longer did she feel the need to try and take on the persona Marta placed before her every time they talked. Something had drastically changed inside of Vicki; she was now seeing life in a different light. Her pain was still there and her insecurities were very much prevalent. Her emotions remained off-kilter, but in-the-midst of it all, she felt differently. She was no longer feeling hopeless and despondent. She was now equipped with a will to love herself—the process she was about to embark upon without resentment.
“Vicki no longer desired to just make it through another night and another day because purpose had been awakened within her.”
Hope had wrapped its wings around her and was holding her closely. Determination carried her as she walked into her room for the first time in an entire year. This was the beginning of newness. It was at that moment, Vicki knew what it was that was making her feel as if she could conquer the world. She had chosen herself and decided against relishing in her pain.
“From that morning forward, she would forgive herself and face the woman she wasn’t so she could become the woman God created her to be for His glory and her good.”
For some reason, we have found solace behind our walls because we have professionally silenced our true identity and allowed it to lie dormant within ourselves. If all of us are truthful, we too will admit that we hide behind smoke screens. None of our smoke screens look alike, but each one of our screens serves the same purpose in all of our lives: keeping others from getting to know us—the real us.
If only we would stop criticizing ourselves and forgive ourselves as we go through this journey of life. If only we would comb through each layer of our lives until we reach our true identity and love the person God created. Pruning is necessary, when we accept it and love the beautiful person God reveals to us after He has extracted all of the toxins that reside in us. If only we would love to use our God-given gifts and talents for His glory and our good. If only we would refuse to entertain the thoughts “to conform” because others don’t understand us and because we don’t fit the mold society has created. If only we would choose ourselves and eliminate every “if only” in our lives that’s keeping us from being ourselves and receiving our blessings.
Once we eliminate the surface version of ourselves and everyone else’s version of who we are, we can shed the past and become the person who God created us to be as we love living our lives the way Christ intended.
