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The continuous ringing of her cell phone jolted Rue from her deep sleep. She adjusted her eyes and realized that she was not walking into the kitchen to retrieve her purse and overnight bags while thinking to herself: What have I gotten myself into?
It was exactly a year and a half later to the date of her big move, and she had been dreaming about it. Rue picked up her cell from off the nightstand, turned off the alarm and saw that there were ten missed calls from Lavelle. She rolled her eyes in disgust, grabbed her laptop off the nightstand and blurted aloud: A whole year wasted! At that moment, there was light tapping on Rue’s bedroom door; it was Naima. Rue was not in the mood to talk to her; she opened up her laptop, plugged in her ear pods and began journaling:
Last night started off amazing, but it ended horribly! I hate feeling like this. Why did I put myself out there with Lavelle? What in the world was I thinking!? I just need to start from the very beginning so that I can figure out where I went wrong.
After taking a month to get settled in, I finally allowed Naima to introduce me to Bodie, my late father-in-law’s relative. How they are related, I do not know, Naima never explained that part to me. Now when I took one look at him, immediately I thought: nope, it won’t work! He’s out of my league. A person of Bodie’s caliber comes with outside attention and messiness. In the past, I was in a relationship with a man who was ‘Bodie’s type’; it took me years to get over that painful relationship. Naima was wrong, I’m not a perfect match for Bodie. He could never love—only me nor could he ever be faithfully married to me ‘til death do us part.
In spite of my thoughts, I allowed Naima to introduce Bodie to me.
After an exchange of pleasantries and surface talk, he asked me out. Out of respect for Naima, I accepted his invite; dinner was scheduled for a week later at one of the restaurants he owned. Well, a week later we had our first date and to my surprise, we were the only guests in the entire restaurant. It seemed like it had been taken straight out of one of those romantic-fairy tale movies. Everything was lovely and perfect, a bit too perfect, Strike One!
Past experiences have a way of granting dynamic instinct, and a perfect read on future prospects. No man impresses a woman like this without having some type of expectation. So I asked him, why did you do all of this for me? He said, “Rue, you are a beautiful woman—a Queen. Queens receive nothing but the best because they are royalty. That is what you are Rue, royalty. My goal tonight was to give you back your smile. Naima told me how you’ve been mourning your husband. I don’t know what it feels like to lose a spouse because God has never granted me a wife. My heart goes out to you because at times I too mourn; I mourn what I’ve never had—a wife to love…”
My heart goes out to you because at times I too mourn; I mourn what I’ve never had—a wife to love…
All of a sudden Bodie was interrupted by the musicians, who had started playing softly. Our main course was served and I began eating so I could hurry this evening along. I looked up from my plate, and he was just staring at me. It was a bit strange because his stare was more or less like an admiring gaze. No man other than my husband had ever looked at me like that; I didn’t know how to handle it.
So, I smiled awkwardly. Bodie proceeded to say: “If you could describe happiness, joy and peace in your life—how would you describe each of them? What activates these three emotions in your life daily? When determining what you will or will not allow in your life, do you consider how it will impact your happiness, joy and peace? If you do—why do you? If you don’t why don’t you? What is the source of your happiness, joy and peace? If you could build a new life around those three emotions, how would you go about doing so and ensuring they never fade?”
I stopped chewing my food and stared at this man with a blank look on my face as my inner me screamed ‘Time to Go!’
If you could describe happiness, joy and peace in your life—how would you describe each of them?
