Continued from part 5 in this short story series.
Rue looked down at Bodie, inhaled and spoke her truth: “Bodie… You remind me of the most painful and happiest times in my life from two of my past relationships. The man who hurt me was prestigious and lived an elite lifestyle, so I experienced firsthand everything that came with dating a person of that caliber. The level of toxicity I experienced and endured from him is the reason a part of me opposes you…”
“I vowed to never allow myself to endure anything like that ever again, which is why I have stayed far away from you. On the other hand, there’s a part of me that’s intrigued by you… drawn to your characteristics…mannerisms and ways because you remind me so much of Marlon. My pain is what took Marlon and me from best friends to a couple. Happiness…that’s what he gave me and what I experienced in such a way I never felt before, until my life with him.”
Rue continued, “You stir up emotions within me and triggered memories I haven’t had to face alone, until now. Everything I have ever dealt with in my life….both good and bad… I faced it with Marlon. He and I were best friends! In the midst of my pain, he saw the woman I would become before I became her….” Rue sighed and said to Bodie, “I cannot allow you to replace him!”
And just like that, a weight felt as if it had been lifted from Rue’s heart. She was initially met with silence and then he spoke two words to her she didn’t expect to hear him say: “I’m sorry.” Rue looked into Bodie’s saddened eyes as he gently squeezed her hands and said: “Rue I’m sorry for the pain you endured at the hands of a man who used his status to inflict harm on your soul. I’m sorry he felt more empowered by mishandling your heart and left you to pick up the pieces of the pain he caused you.”
Bodie continued, “I’m sorry that your husband, who was your pillar, died and left you to navigate life alone…I’m sorry you are in a place of pain right now where you feel that I want to remove all traces of your late husband and replace him. I’m sorry that the pain you feel is so deep until any and everything I say to you…my truth…doesn’t sound sincere to you. Rue…I so badly want to take your pain away, but the truth is…I can’t. I can walk with you through it…encourage and assist you every step of the way but the task of taking your pain away is too great for me. As much as I want you to see me for who I am. As much as I want you to see my heart, I know that right now…it is impossible.”
“You must completely heal from your pain before I can present myself to you and the only person who can heal you is God.”
“Everything’s going to be okay Rue and if you will allow me to…I will walk with you through this journey in whatever capacity God sees fit to use me within your life. I will be whatever it is God says you need me to be throughout this healing process because Rue I want to marry you. I want to raise a family with you and live a loving, happy life with you ‘til death do us part.”
Rue was fighting hard to contain her emotions and just as she was about to ask Bodie to get up from off of his knees and go home, he stood up and said to her: “Rue…I’m going to pray over you right now okay…” She nodded her head yes, but the inner voice was screaming at her to send him home! For some reason she couldn’t formulate the words. As she listened to every request Bodie asked God on her behalf, she felt a peace come over her. Rue wondered why she felt comfortable living a life of memories; she then asked herself what was so happy and fulfilling about living a life of grief?
Bodie’s heart of concern made her feel safe; it made her feel that she could stop running from both him and God.
Stay tuned for the next installment in this series by Lynnette Easter!
