After binge-watching all 8 seasons of the hit show Girlfriends, I wanted to make an appreciation post for the show that was ahead of my time as a teen, but oh so relevant to me now as a single Black millennial.
Compared to other Black ensemble cast TV shows, this one stood out for it’s balance of characters with relatable storylines and quirks. It was a great follow up to the 90s classic, Living Single, with a 2000s edge and location set in the West Coast. To this day, many who watch Girlfriends try to see which character they can relate to the most, but each girlfriend (including William) has something to bring to the group to make it stronger.
I enjoyed the first half of the series the most and felt the void when Toni, played by Jill Marie Jones, left to pursue film acting after season 6. With my 34th birthday around the corner, I feel more connected to these characters now because I have experienced similar scenarios in the show as they have. I’m an authoress like Maya, determined and quirky like Joan, and can appreciate the 9-lives optimism of Lynn and hypergamous aspirations of Toni. I could always go deeper, but this show covers a range of lessons for us to learn personally and as a culture thanks to creator Mara Brock Akil.
With a generous spoiler alert, here are some of the notable lessons from Girlfriends:
Being a good girlfriend
I mean the memorable theme song says it all: “My girlfriends, there through thick and thin…” Despite the shade thrown and boundaries crossed every season, the girlfriends plus William have developed strong friendships together. They rely on one another and at many times hold each other accountable in their own ways. It was sad to see Joan and Toni’s friendship from childhood dissolve in season 6, but as an adult looking back on their friendship, it had really run its course a long time beforehand.
Not giving up on your dreams
This show reminded us to go after our dreams, even if we are the only ones who believe in them. From Joan leaving her lucrative career in law to start her own restaurant to Lynn finally choosing a path of music, to William realizing the dream life he wanted to have was indeed with Monica. This show was a realistic reminder that you can pivot careers in your 30s and try something different. I think that theme relates to many of us at this time as many had to reflect on life and their futures in 2020.
Healing from your childhood traumas
William, Joan, Toni, Monica, Maya, and Lynn all had their own episodes dealing with parental issues/trauma they’ve experienced from the past. The show was smart to have these deep dives into what could have been one of the reasons why the characters act the way they do. For instance, Joan is a child of divorce and desperately wants her perfect vision of marriage and family, which is a common side effect of her childhood trauma. These characters’ complexities added more relevance and depth to them for us to connect with and appreciate more.
Not being afraid to do something on your own
Each of the ladies (and gentleman) had their own story of doing something out of their comfort zones. Joan with embracing her singleness, Maya raising Jabari while Darnell had to work on the other side of the country, Toni making the decision to leave California for New York life for her and her baby Morgan. This is to me one of the major keys to adulthood, and each of us come to that point at different times of facing our own personal fears and going through it without other people to carry us.
*BONUS* What I would like to see in a Girlfriends movie
The show was canceled pretty much in the middle of its 8th season, so I would like to see a time jump to the present with the girlfriends catching up over one of their 50th birthday celebrations. Probably Joan would be the one to celebrate because she’s the meticulous party planning queen, and she would have her loving hubby Aaron there and their two kids. Yes, in my story Aaron returned safely from Iraq and they get married in an intimate and quaint ceremony in their backyard.
Maya would become a world-renowned life coach after the relaunch of Oh, Hell Yes!, turning it into a profitable lifestyle brand and coaching business. Fully supportive of his wife, Darnell has a successful chain of garages that serve LA, Vegas, and Phoenix. Jabari becomes a first-generation college student, but like many millennials, he has to suck up his pride and move back with his parents after he graduated to figure out what he wants to do with his own life and career.
William and Monica are still crazy and still together, driving their preteen/teen twins to excel higher than both of them have ever done.
Lynn would find her place in music and becomes a true student of the world, making music all over with different artists as a successful songwriter/producer/artist. She has bros in different area codes, lol.
Toni would return to California for the funeral of her father, make some generational mend with her mom played by the legend Jennifer Lewis, and show up to Joan’s party celebration per Maya and Lynn’s request. Morgan isn’t a baby anymore, but she reminds Toni of Joan—Morgan’s godmother—so much, that Toni has to break the silence and see them all again in person.
I would love to see a vacation or something like they did in the Sex in the City movies, because these characters on Girlfriends only went out of town to save someone’s relationship for the most part. It would be nice to see them in their element outside of LA county! With all the Black projects getting greenlit, it’s about time that they get some money behind the film project—I’m looking at Will Packer (Girls Trip) or maybe even Tyler Perry (For Colored Girls) to back the film’s production if it ever comes to pass.
If you’re interested in more reviews of the show, check out these videos on YouTube by Tee Noir and The Thirty Journey.
Thank you to everyone who’s worked on Girlfriends, including Prentice Penny who is currently helping bring some great storytelling to Insecure with Issa Rae. Girlfriends is truly one of the shows many Black women cherish from the beginning of the new millennium. Another show I really liked and want to see on Netflix next is An African City (2014-present) which was a popular web series featuring sophisticated West African women.
