Is wise counsel really wise? What do you think?
Earlier this week, I posted this same question in one of the singles Facebook groups and these were the answers received:
“When you are dating someone, you can be blinded and need someone else’s input…”
“You do need wise counsel but to be careful from who you get it from…”
“Wise counsel is needed in all areas of life, and we are never above it.”
Proverbs 11:14 says, “Without good direction, people lose their way; the more wise counsel you follow the better your chances.”
This verse is all about being willing to seek and take advice. We should never be too prideful to seek wise counsel, especially in the area of dating and relationships. By the same token, we must also be careful from whom we seek counsel. The key thing here in this verse is to seek wise counsel, not just any counsel.
Dating is hard and trying to find a meaningful relationship that will honor God and lead to marriage can seem nearly impossible. Everybody has something to say when it comes to dating and what it should look like. Then when you are trying to do the Christian thing and search for what it says in the Word, you find that there aren’t any scriptures that speak directly about dating as a Christian. It can be frustrating and confusing.
Whatever your story is, whether you have had many relationships or no relationships, one thing that we all have in common is that we need wisdom.
Let’s have a waiting to exhale moment and be honest with ourselves. We have all made a few bad decisions when it comes to relationships. Our wisdom is too clouded by sin and too obstructed by our pain and hurt from past dating experiences. We need the help of Jesus and people who can point us to Jesus and guide us in His ways.
Unquestionably, we know we need counsel, but how can wise counsel benefit us? I am no expert, but in my opinion, these are a few ways wise counsel can benefit us and the reasons I believe why.
It will help us to make better decisions when it comes to mate selection (2 Corinthians 6:14)
I know a lot of us are hung up on physical appearance when it comes to dating, but the most important thing is are they saved? Do they reflect godly characteristics?
It will help us to see areas within ourselves that are a hindrance and need more work (Romans 12:1-2, Psalm 139:23-24, Proverbs 21:2, Philippians 1:6)
If our relationship is not right with God, how can we relate with others in a way that will please Him? What are our motives for wanting to be married? We need Jesus to reveal these areas to us so He can prune and mold our character. The truth is we need to be told about ourselves, and the awareness of these things will help us in the long run.
It will help us to see that God has a purpose for marriage and this thing is all about Him (Genesis 2:24)
Marriage is supposed to reflect God. We need help in being intentional about how we date if we want to reflect God in marriage. We need accountability to make sure we are not compromising God’s standards and replacing them with worldly standards.
It will help us be more prepared for when we do enter the marriage season (Ephesians 5:22, 25; 1 Corinthians 7:32, 34)
Although it does not always seem like it, singleness according to the scriptures is a gift. We need to make sure we are using this time to maximize God’s kingdom while we are free from the distraction of marriage. We need to also learn what it looks like to be a godly husband/godly wife and pray that God can help us to become what it says in His word.
To conclude, I will end where I started, back to the original question, Is Wise Counsel Really Wise?
I think so. I hope you think so too. Not only is it wise, but it is also very necessary if we want to succeed in relationships and have a marriage one day, that will bring God the glory that He deserves.
Read more about our guest contributor, Amber Cameron!
Do you find yourself newly single? Always been single? In extended singleness? Wish you were not single anymore? Stick-a-fork-in-you-are-done being single status?
If your answer is YES to one or more of these questions…keep reading.
Hebrews 12:1-3 says, “And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.”
Running a race is not easy. Even if you have prepared mentally, spiritually, and physically, when you hit a certain milestone in that race, you start to feel the weight of exhaustion and weariness as you struggle to keep your composure, catch your breath, and continue to focus on the race.
Being single is a lot like running a race, except sometimes what we thought would be a sprint turns out to be a marathon, and we are tired of the waiting.
So how do we endure what seems like a perpetual race? It starts with our commitment and willingness to learn how to trust God in the waiting. This adjustment will help us to remain steadfast as we navigate the detours, opposition, confusion, and uncertainty in our race, but we can’t do this alone. It’s time to get trained by our coach! As the verse says, the one who perfects our faith. Remember, we are in the season of waiting for a reason, we are essentially running a rigged race, that was planned out beforehand, by God with an expected end.
Therefore let us keep our eyes on Jesus, and keep running as our waiting is not in vain.
…And let us RUN with endurance the RACE God has set before us…
