#MCM: Why is my man’s name on your shirt?

This post is part of the Protect Me series

I am all for humorous tee shirts. In fact I like many tee companies and brands from faith to urban to urban faith. But one over the weekend caught my attention in a Facebook ad. It was by Izzy and Liv, a t-shirt company for Black women or women who like Black culture.

So the latest shirts in this ad carried a clever “If lost, return to” theme with several different celebrity men. The first one that I saw was “If lost, return to Idris Elba.” Then I saw one for Maxwell, Common, then Jesse Williams and Morris Chestnut….

I was like aww this is cute ‘til it got to the married men. Sure, yeah it’s for jokes but ummm…I would feel some type of way if I was Jesse Williams or Morris Chestnut’s wife (who are sistahs by the way). At some point we have to draw the line between admiration and going overboard in regards to you claiming a man, whether in your head or real life.

What if it was Sean Carter’s (Jay Z) name on the shirt? Then all the Beyhive would call you out for being “Becky with the good hair” a la Lemonade. It would be weird because we know who his wife is, but these other married men’s wives are not in the spotlight like Beyonce is, so is it really respectful?

Instead of wearing a married man’s name on your shirt or wherever, consider one of these eligible (unmarried) bachelors:

Idris Elba
Alfred Enoch
Michael B. Jordan
Common
Aldis Hodge
James Bland
Charles Michael Davis
Laz Alonso
Hill Harper

 

 

 

See, you have plenty to work with  (lol) since Idris and all those other unmarried brothers are fair game legitimately. But this post is more about respecting married men and their wives.  We should not be ogling over a married man. This also reminds me of when actresses Tia Mowry and Keke Palmer had a misunderstanding regarding Keke having a former crush on Tia’s husband.

I have seen posts and conversations by married women about single women getting involved with married men. It’s not all the woman’s fault, for the man (husband) has to be responsible for his actions towards his own wife, but it concerns me as to why entertaining adultery is even an option for my fellow single ladies, and also why so many need to remind us not to do this.

What if you were walking down the street with your hubby and saw his name which you share on some random woman’s shirt? Is it really flattering, doing too much, or do you take it seriously at all?

And I guess that’s where I try to tread lightly because the tees are meant to be all in fun, but at the same time, ehhh…I’ve come to stop the crush on celebrity dudes or non celebs after they get married. I want to respect their marriage and honor it as in Hebrews 13:4:

“Marriage is to be held in honor among all [that is, regarded as something of great value], and the marriage bed undefiled [by immorality or by any sexual sin]; for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”

That’s also why I don’t do Man Crush Mondays. What if your future spouse is watching what you post? Would they take you seriously posting random photos of men on your page? No judgment here at all—I had a whole Facebook album dedicated to boos in my head, celebrity crushes. Now I’ve matured and can see how that would not be so respectful to my one day husband.

Maybe these fun and flirty shirts are best worn around other women, the Essence Fest, etc. but if you want to be approached or approach an eligible man, why have another man’s name on your body? Would he take you as a serious prospect with the tee? But that’s just me, I’m curious to know your thoughts; men feel free to chime in on this one.

Ladies you have plenty of options, so let’s leave the married ones be, whether it’s a real life crush or otherwise. And if these men listed above are not to your liking, choose Jesus on your tee and you can share Him with everyone 😉