Photo source: GettyImages
Over the weekend, it was shared that actor Michael B. Jordan and his entrepreneur/socialite girlfriend for over a year, Lori Harvey, had broken up. I wasn’t expecting that to happen so suddenly after their public appearance at the Oscar parties in March, but many have speculated that the pair wasn’t necessarily that authentic to begin with. But that angle is not what I wanted to address; I want to make note of a few things in this article about what could possibly be the context behind the pair’s breakup.
“The relationship was moving too fast for her and they were arguing a lot because he was talking about getting married and they’d only been together for a year, which scared her off.” Source
I think it’s interesting when a celebrity or publicly known couple breaks up, the underlying narrative is that the woman wanted something more serious than the man, that the woman in the relationship was more ready and the guy was afraid to commit. It’s a common narrative, but may not be the story for MBJ and Lori. Michael B. Jordan is 35 years old, and Lori Harvey is 25; that 10-year age difference and their ages at this point are significant when it comes to marriage readiness. People say that age is nothin’ but a number, but it can be a factor in relationships for sure.
As a woman at age 35, I could look back at my mid-20s and would have not wanted to marry–let alone date–someone who was 10 years older than me. It was just my mindset at the time. I remember many ladies who wanted to date or be in relationships with guys our age or maybe a year or two older. But 10 years older? That seems super serious. In this case with MBJ and Lori, I think most girls would make an exception. It’s Michael B. Jordan, a single, childless, and unproblematic superstar. Why not date him at 25? Lori has dated older men in her past and it seems like she’s enjoying her dating life as perhaps one should in their 20s. Now that I am actually 35, I would be more open to dating someone 10 years older than me; in fact, it’s encouraged to women my age who desire marriage.
Lori at 25 is what I would consider officially grown. According to the National Library of Medicine, “the development and maturation of the prefrontal cortex [of the brain] occurs primarily during adolescence and is fully accomplished at the age of 25 years.” At 25 years, you are also likely to experience what many of our Gen Z peers are going through–the quarter-life crisis. This is a pivotal time for those in their late 20s when they go from feeling invincible to realizing the impending demands of aging and maturity that await them in their 30s.
This “dread” that people in their 20s feel comes with a continued exploration of their identity, purpose, what they want out of life, autonomy, and who they want to be long-term. That’s a lot to figure out already, and throw in a whirlwind romance with a superstar celebrity? Talk about pressure.
I’m not mad at Lori if this was a factor in her decision (in part) to break things off. When you’re dating or in a relationship with someone who’s more marriage-minded or grows to become that, if you’re not ready, it will be intimidating. I was telling a friend recently that I would tell my 25-year-old self some relationship advice, it would be to not worry about trying to be married. Although it was my ideal age, looking back I know I wasn’t ready for the severity and responsibility of marriage. It’s something you don’t take lightly, and I hope MBJ and Lori both take marriage seriously.
Michael B. Jordan may possibly be heartbroken, but that is the risk that comes with dating people in a whole other generation than you (he’s a millennial, Lori is Gen Z). If anything, this breakup may work out in his favor so that he can gain sympathy points from his adoring fans. Maybe his next partner will be the one that he marries–who knows. As I said in another article about this specific public figure, it doesn’t matter who he dates, it’s who he chooses to marry.
No one should feel forced or pressured to marry at any age if they’re not ready. I know society has it’s own expectations for women compared to men, and I’ve shared that in my book, Journey to 30: A Single Woman’s Guide to Living Unapologetically Without Deadlines. You at 25 may not be ready for marriage at 25, but maybe you will be at 30, or 40…it’s up to you to do the work and have the faith. May they both find happiness in their single season and in their next relationships!
