BLISSforSingles, dreamers, never let anyone stop your dream

Never let anyone talk you out of following your dream

·May 27, 2019
·Lynnette Easter
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“Now I’m going to warn you, you will not talk to me everyday…I will not answer my phone all of the time when you call…I will text you…”

Sadness crept into my soul as I slowly nodded my head. I heard him, however I was not listening as my only child prepared me for what would take place once he went away to college. Although I was extremely happy for my son Jakeem, I wasn’t ready to let go.

I’d never been separated from him like this before and just as he had warned me in the very beginning, we didn’t talk every day…he didn’t answer all of my phone calls… he text when he did, communicating on his terms. He had cut the umbilical chord; at the time, I didn’t like it nor was I happy with the boundaries he placed around his life.

It took some time before I stopped resenting this change and accepted the fact that this was necessary. This was my son’s time to grow into the man God had created him to become and as he maneuvered through his journey of life. He was establishing his own path and changing the trajectory of his life.

“I changed my major…” he calmly stated to me over the phone his sophomore year of college. My eyes widened…I couldn’t see straight and I thought I was about to lose my mind! I tried to steady my voice and be supportive of this news, but I had a difficult time masking my emotions. Instead, I toggled between ‘okay…mmhmm’ and reminders that he had been accepted into the university because of this major!

In my panicked, high-pitched voice I frantically blurted out: “you were supposed to become a physical therapy doctor”! In a calm manner, he said to me: “Oh I was? Yeah, I don’t want to do that.” As my mind began racing, I tried to find the right words to say to him that would change his mind. I knew from his response and the tone in his voice that his mind was made up. It was a done deal.

My son had to take the necessary steps to ensure he would live the life that he wanted, and I kept asking myself “Why did he do this to me!?” One day as I was ranting to him, he responded and said: “I never wanted to become a Doctor of Physical Therapy. It was what you wanted me to do…if you want to, you can go to college so that you can become one.” From the time my son began talking I encouraged him to express himself honestly, yet respectfully. I instilled in him that his voice matters… but his response left me rattled because it made me look at myself and what I had done.

Even when our intentions are pure, sometimes we don’t get it right and that is what I realized.

My plans silenced Jakeem’s voice, but he said ‘No!’ because ‘his voice matters’. The turning point in these types of situations comes when we address our wrongs. I had to get myself together and rectify my ways. My verbiage changed when discussing life plans with him; no longer would I bring up how he changed the plans I had mapped out for his life. My desire to live vicariously through him had to go.

I continuously remind myself to stay out of my son’s way and God’s plans for his life by praying: Lord allow me to be the mother Jakeem needs me to be in whatever capacity he needs me…allow me to help him…don’t let me be a hindrance to him…help me to always point him to you…allow him to listen to your voice and your voice only.

Had my son done what I wanted he would have been unhappy every step of the way and miserable right now! God allowed my son to complete his undergraduate studies on time. He received his B.A. degree in Sociology in May of 2017 and his Masters of Social Work Degree on May 18, 2019.