Missed Part 2 of this series? Catch up here
“Mother, I gave you a spare key to use in case of an emergency…” Vicki interjected as she interrupted her mother’s antics. In the most theatrical manner, Vicki’s mother widened her eyes and shrieked: “Victoria…this is an emergency…In six months you will be Forty Years Old! I want grand kids, but you won’t even try to move forward.”
“You had a real man who was interested in you…but you walked away from him so that you could come home…put on your pajamas…sit in the dark…eat Haagen-Dazs ice cream and watch Lifetime… Hallmark…what is this you’re watching!? Victoria—you are sitting here watching a Christmas Movie…a Christmas love movie…Why?!”
Vicki ate her ice cream and watched the movie in silence. Her mother quietly walked over to where she was seated, sat down beside her and gently turned Vicki’s face towards hers and in a concerning tone Vicki’s mother asked: “What is it Victoria?…tell me what he did to you that has left you scared to move on…”
Vicki sighed and responded: “It was early Friday morning, the morning of my two-day bachelorette party. Marta came to the house early so I could get all of my errands out of the way before the party. He was happy…I was happy…we laughed and joked as he carried my bags from the house to Marta’s car. He placed my bags in the trunk then told me to have to fun… kissed me and said ‘I love you Vick, see you Sunday.’ Sunday evening Marta dropped me off at home and when I walked into the bedroom I noticed that all of his things were gone. There was a note on the bed that read: ‘It’s not you Vicki…it’s me…I’m just not ready to get married.’
“I never heard from him after that and never saw him until tonight—an entire year later. He was seated in the waiting area of the restaurant with his parents, family members and friends. Then, this lady holding a baby appeared and joined them…from what I overheard, the lady and baby are his wife and little girl. They were celebrating their one year wedding anniversary. Mother… After an entire year of getting myself together…never running into him…tonight would be the night. That nice man you set me up with was trying to hold a conversation with me, but I couldn’t concentrate. He asked me about myself at the exact moment I overheard the conversation about Roderick’s marital and family status. Seeing Roderick…his new life apart from me for the first time since he dumped me and hearing how happy he was, hurt me deeply. I had to stop myself from embarrassing myself.”
“As hard as I tried, I couldn’t concentrate on the man who was in front of me because I was caught up finding out about the man I had put behind me.”
Vicki continued, “I couldn’t help it…I felt myself getting ready to lose it, so I excused myself and left. Was my response considerate? No. Could I have done things differently? Yes. What could I have done differently? I don’t know…I just don’t know what I could have said and done without falling apart.”
Silence ensued as moments passed. Vicki’s mother reached over and hugged her. Then she made a statement that caused Vicki to retreat from her mother’s grips and abruptly ask: “why would you even make a suggestion like that mother!?…I am not weak!” Vicki’s mother carefully stated: “Victoria, you need help…help that I cannot give you. Seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness…Admitting you are not okay and seeking help to fix it is not a sign of weakness. Taking care of yourself is the greatest sign of strength Victoria.”
Vicki looked at her mother and said: “I can handle this on my own, I don’t need help…This is my consequence from God…I just have to go through this…”
