I had dated a guy on and off for years; we just always knew that we would one day be together. If we take it way back, I met him at a party over the Christmas break after my first semester in college in Los Angeles.
He was good looking and he was kind. From the distance he was speaking to me, as he began to approach me, he said, “One day you’re gonna be my wife.”
My initial reaction was: Yeah right, get this guy away from me. No matter how mean I was, he stuck around—he just didn’t get the hint. I gave him my contact. I know I said he was a bit annoying, but I actually enjoyed his boldness more than my outer appearance and reactions displayed.
Fast forward a few years: we stayed in touch when I transferred across the states and back. At one point he asked me to marry him, but I chickened out and stopped talking to him. He was seven years older than me and he wanted nothing more than to get married. I must say I wanted to get married too, but somehow, someway, God allowed me not to feel at peace. That and I was stuck on the fact that he said, “I think we’d have fun together.”
After a few more years, we started to see each other again. He said, “I thought we would have already been together by now.” This time around I was in transition, I was deciding to go back to school to cultivate the vision that God had placed in my heart. While I was starting this new chapter, we were ending the old. It was a very hard decision for me, as he was such a good guy, kind, a provider, and very attentive. Overall, he knew me. I was so comfortable with him, I told him my silly jokes and daily stories and he listened.
But on the same token, the dreams of which I told him—he believed in. However, I could tell it was something he didn’t want for himself.
You see, he had a vision for his life and it didn’t match up to where I was going, and vice-versa. Early on in our unofficial relationship he said, “Maybe I should just go to the hood and get a girl who wants to be a stay-at-home wife.” Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home wife (or being from the hood), as there is a season for everything. However, I didn’t feel as though that season was where God had me. And, there were other things that didn’t sit well with me as well. If I would have stayed, I would have had to conform to what he wanted; eventually not going towards the land that God was promising me.
“I would have been settling to be everything for someone else, but losing all that God had placed in me.”
That semester on through the entirety of the program, I continued to work on what God had called me to even though I was heartbroken. I continued to walk forward, even when it was me having to leave behind what I thought my future was supposed to look like. Although our directions split and it was very heartbreaking, I know that God has someone better for me where He is calling me to go.
“If God is calling you to do something, expect that sometimes God will also cause you to say goodbye to those who may not be good for you in the seasons to come.”
Ladies, the guy may be amazing, yet amazing for someone else. He may be very vision-oriented, yet be unequally yoked. God is an all-seeing God, who knows everything—He is Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. If you are in that season, trust and surrender to what God is trying to do in that season. Count it as a blessing, let go and trust God as you are reaching an unknown season.
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Vintage Blogger Sasha Frank is on a mission to reach and do everything that God has placed on the inside of her, using her voice to make a difference. Be sure to follow her journey via Instagram and check out her podcast Introducing Sasha Frank (“the series”). Every Friday morning a new episode is released!
