As part of our Reader Request month in August, we’re starting things early with this request from our Instagram page:
Absolutely! Happiness is not found in another person or being in a relationship. You are responsible for your happiness and joy, which is different, is what you get from the Lord. Just because you are of a certain age, made some accomplishments in life, doesn’t mean that you’re lacking something and need to be in a relationship or married to live a fulfilled life. Being single is not a negative thing as we have been conditioned to think. In fact, one would say that being single is #goals. Let’s discuss…
Some of the dopest people alive aren’t married; you’re in good company.
BLISS is not just an acronym on this blog, one of the goals is to point unmarried people to the bliss and joy that they can have in this season of their lives. I’m curious to know if being single was ever someone’s #goals in life. In the easily deceiving lens of social media, you’d think that the only goals that are desirable in the love arena are the ones that involve another human being.
Sure, the word does say a lot about relationships, but it does also have a lot of value for those of us who are individuals. Because life doesn’t start when you get in a relationship, and you can accomplish 1 million+ goals while single or unmarried. Perhaps that’s why those who get out of relationships seem to value being single as #goals because of what they have now that they are “free.”
There are even some married people (not all) who envy single folks. They miss their previous level of autonomy, the less responsibility, the ample quiet time and peace that can come with being on your own. Paul talked about this (1 Corinthians 7). They just have more stuff to balance in life. They have to grow up and mature with another person to account for and be accountable to.
“The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God.” 1 Cor. 7:34 MSG
If you are single, you even have the freedom to rewrite what #goals looks like to you. This is permission to think more freely about how you see this season of your life. The work is there, and so are the benefits. So what are some examples of #singlegoals that we can double tap on the ‘Gram? Consider these:
- Celebrating another year of abstinence, celibacy from sex, sobriety from alcohol or smoking
- Personal breakthrough in emotional health or mental health
- Giving your life to Christ or renewing your commitment
- Upgrading your credit score
- Discipling others or serving as a mentor in some capacity
- Meeting a fitness or health goal for yourself
- Learning a new skill or habit
- Overcoming a personal fear
I’m sure some of these sound familiar, but are we actively pursuing them? Consider how you’re approaching your single season, taking the time to work on you, letting God work on you; being open to Him using you for His purposes during this time. While above may be a small list of single #goals, the God we serve is unlimited! Be obedient and ready for God opportunities to learn more about Him, yourself and this time that you have to maximize.
More people need to read this. I know of so many unhappy singles, who are unhappy because they are not in a relationship. I think they should use their single hood differently. Opposed to feeling sorry for themselves and wasting time dealing with undesirables, I think they should use this time more productively.
Amen thanks Leslie for sharing! We definitely can use our time in this season more productively!
Thank you for this! So many singles feel like their entire existence is validated based upon their relationship status. They get so consumed with trying to get boo’d up, they lose sight of everything else that comes out of being single. The accomplishment of goals, the freedom, the peace of mind, the strengthening of bonds between God and their loved ones, the deeper love and value for themselves. Hopefully more single men and worsen read this and shift their thinking.
Thank you Racquel for reading! Amen we definitely need a perspective shift, it’s one of those “you don’t know what you have til it’s gone” kind of set ups in life.