We crossed paths in my call of duty. I had gone to the hotel market in China to buy some things I required for the housing project I had. My field being house interior design coincidentally was the same field he was in. This was a bonus point to why we were meant to be together so I thought. We were good together. I loved his sense of humor and how when we were together we never ran out of words to say to each other.
When we were apart from each other, we always found a way to be part of each other’s day. As I weighed the pros and cons, the pros seemed to have more on my list. But there was one con which carried more weight. I was a believer in Christ Jesus and he was not. I naively thought we could work through it; I thought I could influence him and make him decide to be a believer, but the end result was he ended up drawing me away from God.
“You shall not enter into a relationship (marriage) with them, neither shall they with you, for surely they will turn your heart after their gods.” 1 Kings 11:2
In the book of Kings, we read how in the beginning Solomon was determined and very diligent in seeking God and doing what pleased the Lord as his father David did. In the 11th chapter, God warned the people of Israel not to have relations with women from certain nations but Solomon went against the commands of God and thus came his downfall—as his heart was turned away from God by his many wives.
This was what I was experiencing. I started skipping church to hang out with this guy, and I found myself compromising on things I had made up my mind not to do prior to meeting him. In my spirit I was being convicted that he wasn’t God’s plan for me. I was to end the relationship, but I chose to ignore as I really wanted this relationship to work.
“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14
“God has the best for us. What God has for us is not meant to draw us away from Him but rather to bring us close to Him.”
It was the beginning of the Chinese holidays and mostly everyone I knew traveled back to their country as everything shuts down then for two months. I decided that I wasn’t going to travel back home as I had just got to China just a few months back. In my mind, I thought it would be a perfect time for him and me to spend time together and get to know each other more.
Shockingly when we met up, he informed me that he had planned to go back home for the holidays. I was disappointed but with some consolations, we left off on a good tone as he promised to stay in touch.
We were in communication for about a week or two after he had settled back home…then we were out of touch. After a while, I decided to break the silence and call him. In consideration of the time difference between his country and China time, I called him early in the morning as I remember it. I really had missed him. When he answered the phone, I expressed my excitement in my tone of voice which, unfortunately, was met with his very dull voice. He seemed to rush over the call and he asked to call me the next day but he never did. Something was definitely off with him.
The days turned to weeks and to months without him calling back or texting. I didn’t want to call him because it seemed as though in the last call he was blowing me off. I made excuses for him not reaching out. I told my friend it was because he was busy. I was invested emotionally and it was so painful that I would cry most of the times.
“His lack of interest in me led to a season of brokenness and sorrow which I eventually sought solace from God to heal my broken heart.”
In the process of being made whole by God, I came to an understanding that the rejection I faced was the protection of God and part of His divine sovereignty to keep me in His perfect will. God’s protection prevented me from being tied to a partner or a marriage that lacked purpose. God’s choice for me of a partner carries purpose and I’m forever grateful for God’s undying love for me through that season.
Jacquelyne Kanyi is a woman in her 30s, not married, no kids and trusting God for a Godly union. She strives to encourage singles to find contentment and joy in their singlehood. You can find more of her work in my website jacquelynekanyi.com/ I’m also a contributing writer in Godinterest.com.
