Hearing the words “We need to talk” can induce anxiety in many, but it was the best title for this conversation and poetry tour that stopped by Trinity Church in Miami earlier this week.
Hosts Ezekiel Azonwu & Preston Perry wanted to cultivate conversations about relationships to join faith and the discussions happening today online to shed light and provide clarity from a Christian perspective. I’ve attended the Poets in Autumn Tour a few times featuring these talented artists, and since then, Ezekiel and Preston felt the need to bring brotherly advice to singles and coupled folks in attendance.
Shout out to the friendly sister in Christ, Julie from Orlando, who came out for the weekend to attend this event in South Florida and even got a question in for the hosts!
The modern sanctuary was filled with young adult singles to season married couples. The “mms” were strong as so many thought-provoking questions and perhaps triggering topics were brought up. Nothing at all preachy, Ezekiel and Preston approached the crowd with a personable tone and conversation, not willing to hold back on topics they have addressed on their respective social media posts or podcasts.
One of my favorite tour elements is how they engage with the audience. Some audience members had signs, and everyone else had the option to vote “OK” or “No Way” to express their opinion during the discussion, and there were other interactive methods of engagement. Men and women got on the mics to ask and answer questions throughout the Q&A portion of the show. I was able to submit mine online during the show and the guys pretty much covered the answer at some points.
My question: How can married people support their single friends who desire marriage in practical and spiritual ways? How can singles support their married friends?
Topics covered during the Miami tour stop included:
- How men view sex vs. how God wants us to view sex
- Ezekiel and Preston discussed their early exposure to p*rnography and how that can warp people’s view of sex as God intended.
“Investigate the bondage to sexual sin to your emotions. How do your emotional issues drive your lust?” –Ezekiel Azonwu
- Fear of vulnerability as a man and husband
- The benefits of getting therapy
- Men’s misunderstanding of leadership in relationships
“Christlike leadership shows the balance of being a Lion and a lamb. If I want my wife to be humble, I have to be humble.” –Preston Perry
- What is your biggest struggle being a single Christian woman?
One single lady said that there are no men in the church available to attend/serve. The hosts asked the men to stand up who were single, and it was significantly lower than the single ladies in the room, a funny but true moment for many of us that attend these kinds of events. Ezekiel suggested that ladies to invite non-romantic men (brothers, friends, etc.) in their lives to attend events like these to encourage vulnerability.
Preston mentioned that the lack of discipleship is a big factor in the lack we’re seeing since men are not equipped when they really desire to learn how to be leaders and husbands first. - Christian women have been saying that men in the world are more aggressive with their approach; do Christian men agree with that?
- What does showing interest look like to a man without looking thirsty?
- Are women’s standards in the church too high?
“Look at the character early and the bare bones of the person,” as Ezekiel mentioned in getting to know guys at first.
- Being on the same level with spiritual maturity or having more Biblical knowledge than the person you’re dating/in a relationship with. The hosts discussed will you allow the Holy Spirit to sanctify you? And are you called by God to this person? What’s his potential for obedience and forgiveness?
- “There are a lot of good husbands in waiting; they need someone to show them how,” Preston said. Ezekiel followed that up by saying, “It’s a 9-1-1, married men—it’s that urgent. To all the married men here—who are you disciplining? How many men are you helping?”
If you can make it in the room during this tour, get there! To hear from brothers in Christ who learned from their own past successes and failures in relationships, sharing the fruit of the wisdom learned from their respective marriages and as mentors brought some needed depth to the never-ending gender debates that we’ve all seen online.
We need more events like this that provide a safe atmosphere for both men and women to be vulnerable and honest about their desire to be in a godly relationship. We need more mentors, discipleship, and tools on how to handle the challenges that can come with singleness, dating, and marriage. No season has it better than the other; God has a purpose for us all in each space according to His divine will. It’s moments like this tour that remind me that we have the solutions; we just have to be willing to do the work along with having faith for what we believe God for.
The We Need to Talk Tour continues this weekend with back-to-back dates in Toronto, Chicago, and Houston. For more info on the US and international tour dates, visit www.weneed2talktour.com.
