Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship (LDR)? I have some experience with that and while it’s not for everyone, it may be more of a reality as people meet and connect on social media, dating apps, and more.
I joined my co-host J. Immanuel and some dope panelists for a thought-out discussion on LDRs on the Right to Real Love Live show on YouTube. Here are some of the highlights mentioned about LDRs that you may want to consider if you are in your dating season:
Some challenges of being in an LDR:
- People underestimate the extra effort needed to make it work
- timing your in-person reunions and keeping to schedules
- reassuring communication so both partners feel wanted and valued
- willingness to travel and making the budget for that
- citizenship of the people to consider if things progress into marriage
Some benefits of dating long distance:
- Allows you to make the most out of the ordinary things in life with someone you care about
- it will take longer to get complacent in the relationship
- can build your problem-solving skills when plans need to adjust or change
- travel can show you a different side of your partner/yourself
LDRs won’t work if:
- If you don’t have a plan in place for meeting in person on a consistent basis
- If there’s no plan, the expectations and accountability get cloudy
- If you don’t have an agreement on ending of the distance part of the relationship (i.e. how long this will be an LDR, moving conversations, etc.)
- If you are influenced by the opinions of others too heavily, you could be convinced that the partner is unfaithful or the LDR won’t work in general
What I like about LDRs:
I believe distance makes the heart grow fonder, especially if everything else is going well. My experiences made me appreciate the person more than running the risk of taking advantage of their presence on a more regular basis. Some would romanticize the little things about the person because you don’t get to see them regularly versus overlooking details that you see all the time, over time.
With the pandemic seemingly coming to an end, we can all better live, and going out into the world around you can be new. It’s a beautiful thing to get to go on new adventures at home, showing your partner your world and you get to see theirs.
I will admit that LDRs are a true test of patience! When you’ve done all the long-distance activities, you finally want to see that person face to face, and that may not always happen on your timeline. It takes patience and consistent planning to make it work without losing your interest.
LDRs are good for travel people. Now that I’m older I feel freer to make those choices to travel to different destinations with friends and family. I will also say that this is very important to be prayed up and exercise caution, especially if you decide to travel with someone new in a long-distance relationship. Since the pandemic, more people have been open to the idea of flying out to meet someone or getting “flewed out,” but be clear and aware of everyone’s expectations so there’s no hurt or confusion.
Lastly, I appreciate my LDR experiences because they allowed me to build on our friendship in that connection. So often people want to rush into the love-dovey parts and even the sexual side of relationships. But if you’re looking for something substantial, whether abstaining from sex or not, you want to build your relationship on friendship first. Because of the lack of physical space, you have more opportunities to communicate with your words and get to know that person on a deeper mental, emotional, and spiritual level.
If this is not enough for you, you can catch the replay of Right to Real Love Live on the topic of LDRs!
