As technology has expanded our networks across the world, I have to ask about how well are we cultivating our in person networks for the benefit of our personal lives? When it comes to your friendship circles, do you have any friends that are able to vouch for you regarding your character, even when you’re not there with them? Hopefully you can name at least a few people.
The importance of friends is that these people we do life with have connections to other people, and who knows? You may be able to meet some great people through who you know. I can testify that this works! It’s also a huge plus to have friends in your life who pray for you, want the best for you (for real) and are honest with you on whether you’re ready for something serious or need more time.
If you’re looking to expand your network with the intention of meeting new people and raising the standard of people you want to date, then consider a few of these options here:
Be intentional about having married friends
Proverbs brings up friendship a few times and when it comes to our lives, as singles we should be intentional about having married friends in our mix. Not just any married couple, but a couple who is happily married and loves God. They may be at your church, they may be your age group, or something else. But take the time to get to know them and learn from them, especially if marriage is what you want in the future.
“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20 NIV
I would say this is my favorite way of meeting people through friends. If the couple knows you and knows you want to date with purpose/for marriage, they will keep a lookout for other singles they know who may be looking for the same thing.
Make friends in your professional circles
Ruth didn’t have to list her amazing qualities to Boaz, she just did what she was supposed to do with steadfastness and people noticed her work (Ruth 2:5-6). I say this all the time and it stands in the context of singleness, dating and relationships: “the streets is watching.” Join a professional networking group or organization in your career field and you’ll open up to more people who have similar education/career backgrounds. This can help you meet new people who may be potentials for dating or getting to know more.
Having career or work friends expands your network because people also come from various backgrounds, which expands your potential for meeting someone through who you connect with in these environments. Remember that whether you’re looking for a date or new job opportunity, cultivate the relationship with your work friends by being of service in some capacity. What can you do for them? This is network etiquette 101, as we shouldn’t create a relationship with someone solely based on who they know, but out of a genuine connection.
Fellowship with other ministries/churches
If your church doesn’t have a ministry for singles, you can find options to fellowship with like-minded believers outside of your church home. There are ministries all over that meet online or host in person events that aren’t specific to any one church. The goal is connect people with common core beliefs to gather, encourage one another and cultivate friendships. These can also lead to dating, but it often doesn’t get the recognition it could get because it’s seemingly harder to get dedicated single men to participate in singles/unmarried ministry at the same level as the women in church.
Let’s not be discouraged in this, but expand beyond your comfort zone and seek God in new ways. This may require you to travel every now and then, to do something on your own instead of your group of friends, etc. It’s okay to get out and try something different from volunteering for a good cause or attending a worship concert across town. You never know who you’ll meet or connect with until you get out there and try. Let the Lord lead you!
So take some time this week to evaluate your friendship circles. Do you have mostly single friends and need some married folks in your network? Are you proactive about building your professional network? Are you participating in church ministries and events where you can meet new people? Don’t let comfort zones keep you complacent, even in friendships.
Which of these methods are you putting into action right now? Share below!
