What Lauren London’s pregnancy news really means for her fans

Actress Lauren London is reportedly expecting a child with her boyfriend who happens to be rapper Nipsey Hussle. When news got out about this many people questioned not only London’s choice in the man, but the fact that she is not married and already has a child with another secular artist, Lil Wayne.

I had no idea what this was going on until I read a blog on BET’s site, where London used to work on their show “The Game.” The post makes the point that there is a blatant gender and racial double standards against the starlet and the finger pointing comes from (mostly) women who may have watched her movies or shows, predominantly from the Black community.

The blog mentioned actress Kate Winslet having babies by different men but a better example would be what Lauren used on her Instagram: Eva Mendes. Actress Eva Mendes recently had a second baby with her boyfriend Ryan Gosling. From what I’ve seen they have gotten a “pass” because they are talented, beautiful and successful. No one questions her choices and no one is saying that Ryan is a bad father; I believe that’s based off of their appearance in the public eye.

But ladies, who rooted Lauren on and practically “forgave” her for having a baby out of wedlock once with a rapper, have reached their peak with this news. The question is: Why are people so pressed about her being pregnant?

I have a theory that I’ll share here: perhaps Lauren gets so much from her fans, sistahs, etc. is because they low key look up to her. You know how many memes that her image was used in that are about being better than settling for less and discerning a wolf in sheep’s clothing from a man of God?

Many people who admire her have grown up with her and seen her professional progress over time and on social media. When you do that, you can either tend to live vicariously through them or think you know them like a personal friend or family member.

So when people we know in our lives can do better and they seemingly don’t in our eyes, it makes one say: what are you doing? I was rooting for you—we all were rooting for you!

And so we in the Black community want to protect our image, to tell the story that the pretty girl can be something other than what most consider a stereotype. Because when a pretty girl gets pregnant and not married in our community, it’s not celebrated/accepted by all like in other communities perhaps. We didn’t want her to be an unwed mother of two children by two different men. We didn’t want her to be with rappers. We wanted her to live this perfect life we made up for her in our own minds.

It’s the case of our projected expectations landing on the shoulders of someone else to live up to without knowing. But Lauren, like everyone else, is a human being with her own personality, take on life, etc. Her aesthetics and status in the world shouldn’t give us a say-so in how she chooses to live her life.

[bctt tweet=”We can’t force someone to be our role model.” username=”bliss_bcs”]

It’s a gentle reminder that although we may have an idea on how someone’s life story should go, the person we have in mind is the one who has to do the living. And we do too, for we have our own business to tend to and not be too caught up in what others are doing, especially if we don’t truly know them.

We can’t expect human beings to be perfect, no matter how talented, beautiful or saved they are. It just doesn’t work that way. If you want to have high expectations for another person, place them on yourself and see how that fits. Better yet, be the example you want to see for other people.

If too many people are having babies outside of marriage, start a mentoring group for teens or support some youth so they have more than public figures in the media to look up to. Being who you are is good enough for someone to be inspired to do what’s right. Work out your own salvation (Philippians 2:12) and let God deal with everyone else’s personal journeys.

I have natural and spiritual sisters who look up to me. I live for God but my lifestyle and choices are seen by all. So you and I have a responsibility to live how God desires us all to live so that we can point people to Him, to show that holiness, purity, consecration is challenging but it’s also fun and worth what we endure in the process.

What are your thoughts? Share below in the comments!