Black Love & Inspiration for Saved Singles
Singleness & Dating

4 Raw and Real Reasons Why You Should Abstain From Sex Before Marriage

Sex before marriage makes you act crazy.

Now you know exactly what I am talking about. So you’re giving your boo good loving on call and giving away the milk for free. As a result, you have a mutual understanding that you are the only one, right? Right. Even if that isn’t the case, most of us lie to ourselves and say one thing when we really want exclusivity. So what happens when bae starts acting funny or brand new? That’s when your mind starts racing and your imagination is on 10 playing out all sorts of scenarios.

Suddenly, you find yourself downloading that Textfree app to see if he or she will respond to a random, “hey-it’s-me-I-had-fun-last-night” text from a make-believe number. Or better yet, how about you drive past the house after your texts and phone calls go unanswered for a couple hours. You get my drift or maybe that was just me. Sex makes such a profound spiritual connection that you can compare it to a sacrilegious blood ritual. The transference of bodily fluids undoubtedly says, “I am yours and you are mine, forever,” doesn’t it? You find yourself doing things out of character because you can’t help yourself. That is why premarital sex is so dangerous. The bond we make with who we choose to lay down with is deathly strong. Don’t be a victim.

Sex before marriage destroys lives.

Lastly, premarital sex never truly fulfills. Well at least for me it didn’t. It is a tool from the enemy used as a distraction from the truth. It is a space filler that steals you away from your purpose. It is a mirage that pales in comparison to the true love and affection from the one that God promises you if you truly desire marriage. It is a hoax, and a good one too. It does not truly satisfy in the way to which we desire. It cannot fill the empty spaces or the void that only one MAN can fill.
And it does not bear good fruit but on the contrary eats away at our purity like the canker worm. When we sum up fornication for what it really is, then the realization is that we ought not. Nothing on God’s green earth is worth our salvation. Nothing at all.

Three abortions, two children, one divorce and a slew of failed situationships later, I can finally honestly say I get it. Sometimes I beat myself up over all the poor decisions I’ve made that involved having sex with all the wrong people. Hearts were broken, money stolen, lies were told and I can go on. But if we could all go back to do it right the first time then hope would not exist.

How would our testimonies be born? Where would the dire need for repentance and salvation come from? Why would we need the Lord? When I think about all the things I’ve experienced in my life up until this point, I am grateful for every tear, every betrayal, every failed relationship and every mistake that I’ve made. Because through all the highs and lows of life, one thing has remained true and that is that Jesus is the same, yesterday today and forevermore and so it’s never too late.

If you’re abstaining from sex til marriage, what is your why? Share below!


Clementine WilliamsClementine Williams is a freelance writer. She writes for Urban Girl Magazine and for her own personal blog, FranklyClementine.com where you can find her dishing out the God’s honest truth on all things related to life, love and personal growth. She can also be found on IG as @franklyclementine where she writes daily thought-provoking quotes via her hashtag #DailyMusingsofAMindReader. She’s a single mother of two inquisitive geniuses and a four-legged fur ball named Simba. When she’s not writing you can find her on a beach anywhere in the world. For inquiries please email franklyclementine@gmail.com.

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  1. Moboni

    My Why?
    I grew up realizing that deep relationship with God at an early age and made a pact to be true to him and not misdirect my sexuality till marriage. I think too highly of myself to want to seek validation from another man in a relationship by sexual relations. Even when I was in compromising situations that would have broken my pact, it kept ringing in my ears how much of a dishonor it would be. And each time the fear arose, I found myself out the door the next minute. A patched up vessel is still different from a new vase that has not broken. I didn’t want such brokenness. It might take me a while to recover.

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