With 17% of Black women starting or running new businesses today (Harvard Business Review), romance and entrepreneurship is becoming more of a common intersection for our audience. Even still, the experiences that Black women face on this front are not talked about enough.
We pulled up for a chat with some Black female entrepreneurs from the BLAZE GROUP LLC’s community to see what they’ve experienced on this front. The conversation was incredible!
As an entrepreneur, would you expect your partner to help you in your business in any way? If so, to what extent?
Nefretiri McGriff (Owner | Transcendent Life Coaching LLC):
“Yes! Ride for me – cover my six and ensure that infiltration or slander will not be tolerated.
Pray with me – agree with me here in the physical, so that it may manifest in the spirit.”
Show me grace – when I’m tired and give less than 100% in a certain moment, I need to go into my cold and dark room and realign myself. Let me have that.
Hear me – I may not need a resolution for what I’m venting about, I just need to be heard because most of what I do is listen to others.
Understand my assignment – have knowledge of what I do, who I do it for, and why I do it! Parts of myself are deeply infused in my work.”
Nina Scott (Founder | Nina E. Scott & Company): “Yes. Because of the nature of my husband’s job, I expect his help in certain areas of my business. As a CPA, he gives me close contact answers and resources that I otherwise may have had to pay for.”
Jasmine Prince (Founder & CEO | Magnolia & Penn Consulting, LLC): “Yes, and I have that expectation because help can look a thousand different ways. I would want my partner to take interest in how my business is growing and developing and we both discuss what makes sense and feels good for both of us.”
“I’m always committed to playing to other people’s strengths or helping others to explore and develop an emerging skill, so that would be a major factor in a conversation about assisting me in business.”
“Ultimately, I know I want to build with my partner, both separately and individually. There’s something about him putting some sweat in the game for my business that is both appreciated and extremely attractive.”
Jasmine Prince
Do you have a desire to keep business and romance separate or would you be willing to work with a partner?
NM: “No disrespect to any of my previous partners, but most of my partners were complacent with my complacency since I was already making good money in the corporate world. They were confident in the relationship until I started making moves towards building my business. Other partners said they supported my dream of having my own business. I only heard the words, I didn’t see them in action. I was always more assertive and earned more in previous relationships, so there was no way I wanted to be the dominant one in a business we are supposed to be partners in every sense of the word.”
NS: “Separate, (LOL). Our interests and skills are very different, so we have grown to know to stick to our own lanes and support from the sidelines. And…we don’t have time to allow differences or friction to mess up the romance.” *belly laughs again*
JP: “If the right opportunity presented itself to go into business with my partner, I would be open to exploring the opportunity. I presume that the nuances of being in business with your partner can create a level of tension in the relationship, so weighing all the options and the potential risks matter to me so that I can attempt to anticipate issues that could come up.”
Spill the tea – any examples of romance and business being intertwined?
NM: “My current partner is a business owner. I help with administrative tasks and am adequately compensated with a paycheck. Heavy on the paycheck! Before committing to help, we had a transparent conversation about how to focus on the business aspect when we are in work mode. I know this qualifies me as an employee and not as a business partner, however, because I had the opportunity to observe and experience the business acumen, I’d be willing to work with my partner on a separate business; even though we are not married. We match each other’s fly and balance out each other’s energy. We are healthy enough as individuals and as a couple to approach things on mutual terms, have agreeable boundaries with space to still be individuals, and secure several bags.”
When dating today, do you lead with your work and your resume in conversion? Is your work a default topic that you touch on most – or is this assertion that women lead with their work a complete myth?
NM: “When I was in the corporate world and in a leadership role, work was my everything. All I talked about was work because that’s all I could afford to do, despite making great money. I had a hard time separating myself from my career. My relationships would get really stale and eventually fizzle out. I also used my career as a tool to weed out prospects because most were intimidated by my success and salary. I even had some folks ask me to prove my credentials! I couldn’t and still can’t understand it.
Now, as a business owner, I allow my authentic self to lead and show up as Nefretiri. There is a time and place for business talk, even in intimate relationships. Relationships are meant for variety and spontaneity. I learned from my past of only having to talk about work. I do not want anyone falling in love with me because of my career; that ain’t it!”
NS: “I’ve been married almost 10 years and both of our careers/professionals lives have inadvertently spilled into our personal relationship.”
“At some point, you will have a discussion about an experience at work and/or a coworker. It’s a part of the total package of who you are as a person.”
Nina Scott
JP: “I don’t lead with that unless prompted to share about my work and educational endeavors/achievements. I do however like to talk about what I’m passionate and curious about, which often has ties to my professional position or business growth and isn’t solely rooted in reciting a resume back to someone. If you spend enough time with me, it becomes clear that I have a strong work ethic, creativity in solving problems, and go-get-it mentality and men naturally pick up on those things without me having to explicitly tell them.”
“I also think discussing work is a default topic for both men and women and I don’t like spending a lot of time discussing it outside of work (even though I love what I do), because in the grand scheme of my life work is one piece of the puzzle. I also think it’s hard to not place a lot of emphasis on my personal, professional, or educational endeavors and accomplishments because as a society, we’ve placed a high amount of value on ‘where I got my degrees and what company I work for.’ I do share my accomplishments with my partner because I enjoy celebrating them and having others celebrate with me. I always want to include him in that way, and vice versa – celebrating the ways he’s making waves in his own endeavors.”
One thing that Nefretiri, Nina, and Jasmine have in common is their graduation from the Blaze Business Intensive – a group coaching program that is often referred to as the 6-week MBA for Black women. If you’re new to entrepreneurship or need help understanding how to work on your business – rather than constantly being buried in it – enroll today! Click here for more info.
Thank you to these amazing entrepreneurs for sharing their experiences with us and to our friends at BLAZE Group which provides over 3,500 Black female entrepreneurs with knowledge, mentorship, and capital!
